Unappreciative couples and ‘cheap’ guests have been making the news lately… literally making news. With weddings being a worldwide sensation, news outlets such as ABC News and Huffington Post have been no strangers to featuring some pretty traumatic exchanges between the newlyweds and their guests after having received a gift they were not happy with.
I’m here to offer my perspective.
You’ve got the ideal guests who have put great thought into a memorable gift or will make a generous contribution to your future as husband and wife. But there are also some guests who are not in the position to give a lavish gift, some are not particularly thoughtful and some are just plain cheap. There’s no avoiding it. However, if you are throwing a wedding to make money, please think again. This is not to say that you won’t make money, but I wouldn’t recommend expecting to make money as I would hate for you to be disappointed.
In most cases, you will know the guests you are inviting. What you don’t know is their personal situation. I urge you to pick your venue and menu according to the money you have saved, not the money you intend to make. Do not assume that everyone will cover their plate, even if they are in a financial position to do so. That way, if at the end of the day you end up sitting on a mountain of gifts/cash, you will be pleasantly surprised.
For the guests who have to rely on their creativity who have put the time and effort into a gift they truly thought you would love, try to look past the dollar value and appreciate the thought that went into it. Thoughtful gestures are a rarity these days and are sadly underrated when tainted by monetary worth.
We have extended the offer to our guests to bring a date. However, our (unwritten) rule has been: if you are invited, it’s because we want you there and regardless of your gift, it is important to have you as part of our special day. In the event you would like to bring a ‘plus one’ please make sure the cost of their plate is covered.
It’s not like we wrote that on the invitation or anything, fortunately our friends and family have been very courteous in asking if they can bring a date. In the event we don’t know their ‘plus one’ that has been our response. Overall, it seems to have been pretty well received. While we do not want to put financial burden on any of our guests, we are not in a position to offer an all-expense paid evening for strangers.
Keep in mind that the people you’re inviting have (likely) all played a role in your life. There may be a few that you have to invite, but those will surely be outnumbered by the people you want to invite. Count your blessings for the loved ones around you that have been part of your momentous occasion, and not the dollars.
Years later when you and your partner are swinging on your porch, your memories are what you will hold onto, not the gifts.
Until next time,